“Show me a hero and I’ll write you a tragedy”. This quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald can be interpreted in different ways. In the context of enabling and codependence, I see it like this: If you are trying to rescue, help or change someone, you may think you are doing them a service, when in fact it may be a great disservice to them and yourself.
You may not be the hero or heroine you see yourself as, but instead a thinly cloaked martyr, manipulator, controller or judge. Is the real reason you are trying to change another person because you are uncomfortable with their behavior? Every person has the right to live their life as they see fit. Trying to control another person or “better them” is only going to lead to tragic consequences.