"Dysfunctional families are the product of an emotionally dishonest, shame based, patriarchal society based upon beliefs that do not support Loving self or Loving neighbor." - Robert Burney
"The point that I am making is that our understanding of Codependence has evolved to realizing that this is not just about some dysfunctional families, our very role models, our prototypes, are dysfunctional.
Our traditional cultural concepts of what a man is, of what a woman is, are twisted, distorted, almost comically bloated stereotypes of what masculine and feminine really are. . . . . . .
When the role model of what a man is does not allow a man to cry or express fear; when the role model for what a woman is does not allow a woman to be angry or aggressive - that is emotional dishonesty. When the standards of a society deny the full range of the emotional spectrum and label certain emotions as negative - that is not only emotionally dishonest, it creates emotional disease.
If a culture is based on emotional dishonesty, with role models that are dishonest emotionally, then that culture is also emotionally dysfunctional, because the people of that society are set up to be emotionally dishonest and dysfunctional in getting their emotional needs met.
What we traditionally have called normal parenting in this society is abusive because it is emotionally dishonest. Children learn who they are as emotional beings from the role modeling of their parents. "Do as I say - not as I do," does not work with children. Emotionally dishonest parents cannot be emotionally healthy role models, and cannot provide healthy parenting.
Our model for what a family should be sets up abusive, emotionally dishonest dynamics."(From Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney)
Link to book here: http://www.amazon.com/Codependence-Wounded-Cosmic-Perspective-Condition-ebook/dp/B001I907VE
'This joyously inspirational Spiritual book presents a set of beliefs about the meaning and purpose of life from a Cosmic Perspective that combines Twelve Step Recovery Principles with Ancient Metaphysical Truths. It explains why a New Age has dawned in human consciousness on planet Earth and explores the interrelationship between subjects that range from the Bible, Buddha, and Jesus to quantum physics, molecular biology, and AIDS. The belief system the book is based upon is exemplified by this quote from The Dance of Wounded Souls: "We are not sinful, shameful human creatures who have to somehow earn Spirituality. We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. We are here to experience and learn, to Touch and to feel." The author, a therapist who specializes in codependence/inner child healing, not only explains the big picture of how we are all ONE, part of one Cosmic energy interaction that is unfolding perfectly, he also offers insights into how the individual being can lovingly change their relationship with self and life in order to transform their human experience into a much more enjoyable adventure. This is a life-changing, life-affirming book.'